Crooked Little Vein by Warren Ellis

In Crooked Little Vein, Mike McGill is a self-professed shit magnet. He’s also a detective who’s been hired by the U.S. federal government to find a book. He and his sidekick, Trix, cross the country in search of the “other” American Constitution. A “backup Constitution to deploy at the first sign of crisis”. What they find is an array of sexual deviants and f**cked-up people between New York and Los Angeles.

I love books that are quirky and different from others. This one was definitely that. It is weird, out of the ordinary and raunchy. It’s totally readable, though, and I really enjoyed reading it. Ellis definitely knows how to tell a story and hold on to the reader’s attention. While the story is mostly a detective story, along the way the author takes jabs at politics, the Internet, sex, everything mainstream and airport security. That’s just to name a few of the items lampooned in this bizarre, X-rated novel.

This book may make you laugh, cry (ok, maybe not), feel disgusted and if you’re lucky like me your gag reflex may even stage it’s own little revolt. (Ok, just once, but that was in the restaurant scene. I just might have to become a vegetarian after reading that.)

After reading this book, you’ll have a new definition of mainstream and you might even find yourself questioning, “Is this normal?”

My favorite quote:
“You don’t get to keep the parts of the country you like, ignore the rest, and call what you’re got America”. (Page 168)

It’s definitely not going to be for everyone. In fact, I can’t think of one person I’d recommend this to. If you like truly bizarre things and are not afraid of them, perhaps this book is for you. Open this book at your own risk! [There, now you can’t say your weren’t warned.]